The Bipolar stuff is really not an issue since I've been taking the Lamictal. The depression has lifted and my moods are stable and appropriate to the situation. But even as my doctor and I reached the conclusion that we had found a medicinal fix for the BP2, there was still the issue of the repetitious songs that continually play in my head. Which probably wouldn't be half bad if it wasn't just one line from the song over and over or even if they were cool songs. But they're not. Sometimes they're songs that I hate. Or just random shit that I have no idea where it came from. The other night I woke up and 'She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain." I am totally serious. It was almost as if as a media teacher, I couldn't even violate copyright law subconsciously and had to pick something in the public domain.
I do find it fascinating that this seems to happen most when I get ready for bed and when I wake up in the middle of the night. I mean, wake up to go pee and Wham! Culture Club or worse, Cold Play. I think I would make a good neurological study or perhaps a good carny side show if we could hook up my brain to some speakers.
We started on a low dose of Lexapro - 10mg. The songs lessened, but were still there. So I had the bright idea that perhaps it wasn't really doing anything and I should wean off of it. (with Doc's consent) Now that I'm off it...I realize how much it helped. But that's what most of us with a mental illness do. Take medication, it works, and then say, I'm feeling better, now I'll go off it.
All in all, I'm going to stick with my decision for 30 days. I am working with my new found acupuncturist on this. I'm also looking into the tapping technique and some cognitive behavior therapy. I figure if there's a groove in my brain, I can try and degroove it on my own. If not, I'll try the meds again, but at least I'll know I gave it my best holistic shot.
But I'm staying on the Lamictal. I may be bipolar, but I'm not crazy.
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Your post reminded me of the book, Musicophilia, but Oliver Sacks. It's about how the brain on both an emotional and neurological level interacts with music. I can't remember what the exact term is for hearing repetitive songs and lyrics, but it's definitely in the book. I hope you don't have any horrible songs in your head for too long!
ReplyDeleteOh no! Not Cold Play!! I can't stand that group!!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I think your approach of holistic and meds is awesome. How do you like acupuncture? I am fascinated by it, but have never done it.
Shannon- I'm totally checking that book out. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMOTS - The acupuncture is fantastic! It really doesn't hurt. I mean you feel it when it's done, but once they're in - it's really relaxing. She and I are working on the mental radio station together. I'm really open to all forms of alternative medicine. Unless of course, they don't work. Then I feel that I can openly mock them. :)
I lucked out, but if you're looking into it, I would try and get referrals. Just like chiro's - some are great- others may not have the gift.