I never knew there was such a thing. I confess, I have recently held the stereotypical view of bipolar-ness. You know. Pushing a cart. Making crafts at your local psych ward after a tequila infused ambien binge . I would not have even entertained the idea that I might be of the same category, until my sister-in law brought it up.
Because as much as my inner life has been filled with turmoil, by outward appearances, my life is and has been successful.
I have a wonderful job, a good marriage, a great kid and throughout my life, I've had many career adventures and opportunities as a writer and performer. I'm creative. I'm supposed to be a little crazy.
Which it turns out, Bipolar II often strikes the creative types. What I've discovered, is the Bipolar I, AKA manic-depressive - has depression and manic states. Bipolar II, has depression coupled with hypomania, which can be categorized as highly energetic, creative bursts of energy. They can be coupled with agitation and tension.
I think it has been hard for me and those around me, because I can put on a really good game face. I am still fighting severe depression right now, but I walk in the office, I smile and say good morning to everyone. Sometimes I will pull out a quick joke and get a laugh. No one knows but me. And perhaps my poor husband who has been bearing the brunt of all of this for far too long.
I'm seeing the patterns. Now begins the real journey.
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