I was very concerned that I would not be able to make the Depression and Bipolar meeting this week. But as luck would have it, I misread a memo and I can leave tomorrow and make it at 3:00PM.
I have been feeling very out of sorts. Like I'm never going to find all of the pieces to this puzzle and find some kind of piece of mind. Some days I feel like I'm so healthy and together and others, I feel like mentally, emotionally and physically I'm falling apart.
I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I'm scared that I'm putting so much value on this meeting tomorrow, but I need to feel like someone gets what I'm going through. For once in my life, I finally get that I need recovery. Not just quitting alcohol, or dealing with my compulsive eating/thoughts/behaviors, or my insomnia. I need recovery. It's life or death. I can't go on this way anymore.
When I think of it all, it's so overwhelming. And utterly lonely. I have such a nice and bright shiny facade, but inside I feel like I'm dying. I'm so tired of feeling this way.
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