Not My Cup of Tea

So I went and tried out the Depression and Bipolar group. There were only 4 other people in the group besides the moderator. It seemed as if I was the only one suffering from bipolar II, the others leaned more toward bipolar I. All had problems working and keeping employment and I really felt how much this disease has affected their lives. It made me feel like I shouldn't share because I wasn't in the same space as they were. It made me grateful for what I'm not going through. I don't think I will be returning to that meeting.

But what it didn't do, was discount my own experience. I can't forget that only weeks ago, I was so depressed that I felt like there was no reason for me to be here, detached from all feelings and so irritated and anxious that I couldn't carry on conversations with people without feeling like I was going to explode. In that same space, I got so excited and "high" about a possible business opportunity that I almost cleared my whole weekend to write for a project that didn't exist, for just one sentence mentioned in passing. 

Medication is necessary for me to function. It doesn't make me less than. It doesn't take away from my successes, nor does it make me a failure. 

On a good and happy note, I have been talking to a woman from last week's AA meeting and I really feel like she could be "the one." You know. S-p-o-n-s-or.  I don't know if she's "available" or has an "open" relationship with her other sponsees, but I'll keep you posted.